POAS and Beta Results!

I apologize if many of y'all have been waiting for results. The 2 week wait is very taunting. Luckily, Dr. Kim had told us we could come in early, around day 9 post transfer for our first beta. During that time I have been peeing on sticks like crazy, starting on day 1.75dp5dt and every day after that, looking for the slightest sign of a positive. On day 4 I finally received a pee stick that looked like it might have a slight squinter of a positive second line. I wasn't 100% sure, and didn't want to say anything to Tori until I knew for sure, so I waited till the afternoon, hoping my HCG levels would increase a little throughout the day. A surro friend of mine had sent me some left over digital pregnancy tests so I decided to give one of those a try, not really expecting it to be positive yet since it was so early, but hoping that maybe it would be. I took the stick to the bathroom and did the deed. I decided to pull out my phone while the test was processing and video it, and I am so glad I did because after a few minutes, the words "pregnant 1-2 weeks" popped up on the screen and so I was able to capture my genuine excited response and immediately sent it to Tori, who had been waiting for any kind of news. I sent it to her via text and waited for her response. It took her about 40 minutes to reply, which had me practically dying with anticipation. I began to wonder if she was frozen in shock, or fainted, or if she just hadn't seen it yet, until finally she responded with just a flurry of "OMGs". I continued to take tests every morning of each passing day and watched as each one got darker and darker. Ryan started to get tired of seeing all my pee sticks. I keep them in a baggie in my night stand. Yeah, that's not creepy or obsessive or anything, right? lol. I gave HFI a call to schedule our blood draw for Monday and had to go the rest of the week and weekend with my game face on. I didn't want to give anyone any clues, which was a tad bit hard, but manageable. I have a pretty good game face but was ready for Monday to roll around. When I told Ryan, we were just casually laying in bed watching TV and I said "babe, I'm pregnant". He response was a very dull, "yeah I hope so." I didn't correct him or tell him that I was being serious. Instead I sent him a dubsmash video of me holding the positive pregnancy test and saying "surprise, motha fucka!" When he got it he just laughed and turned over and kissed me, then asked me if I had told Tori yet because he loves being the first one to tell people exciting news. Luckily I had beat him to it this time!

I told y'all I was a POAS-aholic

I continued my week as normal, taking my final exams for school, going to work, taking my meds and getting my shots, etc. As far as pregnancy symptoms go, I haven't felt much of a change just yet. I felt a few twinges around day 2 and 3 after transfer, which I assumed was possibly implantation. I had no spotting or cramping, which were both reassuring signs, but other than that, everything has been pretty quiet. No nausea or tender breasts just yet. I can't remember when it was I started to notice pregnancy symptoms with my last one, but like that say, every pregnancy is different so maybe baby fisher is just being really nice to me?! lol Only time will tell. I have noticed though that my appetite has increased. I went to a dinner at Benihana's and almost completely cleaned my plate, which rarely happens. I usually always have left overs to bring home.It seems like every meal time ends with a clean plate now. Whoops! Maybe it's just a mental thing though. But if I continue to eat this way, then I can bet this will likely be my biggest pregnancy yet. I gained 30 lbs total with Hayden and only 20 lbs with Jaden. I'd like to stick under 30 lbs with this pregnancy too, unless its twins, in which case I may need to try and gain 35 to 40 lbs.

Finally Monday arrived. Hayden was not feeling well so I didn't take him to daycare that day. We had a very rough night with Hayden awake the majority of the night in some serious pain.n wanted to move, so it was a good thi He hardly even wanted to move, so it was a good thing Tori was there to hold him and baby him, because I definitely didn't need to be lifting him. We were in and out of the office in no time. All I had to do was get my blood drawn very quickly, asked about my butt because I seemed to be having an allergic reaction to the PIO meds, which seems to be pretty common, your body can develop antibodies to the meds over time, and then we headed to Chik-fil-a to eat breakfast and wait for the phone call with our results. I could tell Mikie was nervous, and understandably so. He had no idea I had been getting positive pee tests because he didn't want the false hope. Hayden slept the whole time we were at breakfast, and the three of us chit chatted until finally the nurse called and told Tori the news. My beta was 587 and I was definitely pregnant! Hooray! This was very awesome news, even though I knew it would be positive, it was still great to hear those numbers. We scheduled our second beta for Wednesday morning. Betas are expected to double every 48 hours so by Wednesday my numbers should be in the 1,000s. We still didn't want to announce the news to anyone until after second beta results. Again, this is totally understandable and well advised because you're not considered 'in the clear' till after the first trimester is over. It is very hard and emotionally draining to announce positive news and then if something bad happens, to have people constantly asking how things are going and have to deliver the bad news over and over again. Hopefully that will not happen this time around. Even so, there is just no way we could hold the news in for that long lol.

 The adorable pregnancy announcement board

Wednesday was like a deja vu of Monday, except minus Hayden because he was actually feeling much better and at daycare this time. Tori brought me some of her benadryl cream for my toosh too. We went in early in the morning for blood work, went to chick-fil-a to eat breakfast and waited for results. We even sat in the same exact booth, I guess for good luck lol. The call came in and second beta was at 1120. Right on track. Now our next appointment is scheduled for next Wednesday for an ultrasound to do bean count! We may or may not be able to see/hear heartbeats because it is still pretty early, but we should be able to at least see if there are one or two babies in there. If it is a singleton, our due date will be Jan. 23rd and if it is twins then our due date will be sometime in Dec. I am very excited for this next appointment. For Tori and Mikie, this is all new territory because they didn't make it this far with their previous transfers. I am hoping the good news continues on. When we do finally have an ultrasound with heartbeat confirmation, then I should be allowed to resume normal activity. I have missed the gym so so much. I won't start off again working out as hard or as long as I was prior to the transfer, but I do intend to work myself up to a healthy, manageable, and satisfying routine. I am much happier when I get that endorphin release from a good workout. Ryan will also be happy because, as many of y'all may not know, the life of a surro husband can be a bit of a drag at times. There are restrictions on intimate activity usually until heartbeat confirmation, and sometimes even a few weeks prior to transfer, or even longer than heartbeat confirmation. And then of course later down the road there are the postpartum restrictions as well. Although he gets a bit whiny towards the end, he is pretty good at waiting for the green light. Sorry if this is TMI but it is a fact about surro life and I like to try to remain pretty transparent about what goes into being a surrogate or the husband/child of a surrogate because it does affect the whole family. I suppose I should start taking progression shots of my belly as it grows. I am really interested to see if I will carry any differently since a lot of people say boy and girl bellies look different. I am so little, I don't think my body has much of an option of how to carry the baby/babies lol. 

Thanks again every one for your sticky vibes and baby dust, prayers and well wishes. Hopefully Tori and Mikie can close that IVF chapter for good and we can move on to the OB and pregnancy chapter. I know it won't feel like it on some nights, but these next 8 months are going to fly by. I will be roughly 16 wks pregnant at the benefit in August, which will be great to have a belly at that time. Lets all continue to think positively as we move forward! So far all the positive thinking has worked! Grow, baby/babies, Grow!

Transfer day and Bed Rest

All last week had been building up so much excitement and emotions for transfer day. We knew the transfer would take place on Thursday, but we didn't know the exact time yet. Wednesday I received the call from the clinic to arrive at 9:30am to the Piney Point location, with Ibuprofen, 2 water bottles, a top and bottom outfit (since I would be removing my bottoms) and socks to help keep me warm. Transfer would take place at 10:30am. I notified Tori immediately and began to pick out all my stuff. I pulled out my comfy, favorite workout pants, and the green HFI Katy shirt from the Resolve Walk of Hope that we had all 3 planned to wear as our matching good luck t-shirts. I was also hunting for some matching green good luck socks, but apparently a little gremlin  who likes to steal mommy's socks had taken my only pair of green ones and wore a hole in them... so those were out of the question. I swear that boy is a sock thief. I do not understand how mommy's socks are better than his, but for some reason he swears they are and always steals them and ruins them. My next best sock option was to wear hot pink ones since we knew the embryos were girls. I also decided to paint my finger nails and toes nails pink. Hayden always asks me to paint his nails too whenever I do mine. It doesn't bother me, but it drives Ryan crazy, which almost makes me enjoy it more. I don't really care what people think about my son's toes being painted. He likes it and I like making him happy. I'm sure eventually he will outgrow it, but for now I am enjoying the time spent with him and look forward to future stories that I will get to tell his girlfriends, wife, and kids one day and embarrass him with. I worked Wednesday night so I  made sure to drink a smoothie with some pineapple in it. I have heard that eating pineapple prior to IVF is another good luck superstition, because it supposedly has enzymes that help with implantation. I am glad I thought to drink it in a smoothy rather than eat pineapple by itself because I am not a big pineapple fan. Also at work, we have a dry erase board where we write notes such as who needs what days off. This is was my day off requests look like.... #surrolife!

The morning of the transfer, Tori and Mikie came to pick me up. I was trying to get myself ready and do my make up since I knew we would most likely snap some pictures throughout the day, and had to get Hayden off to daycare. Unfortunately, Hayden was not having a very good morning. He was upset that mommy had washed his new shoes. They were all dirty from being at the farm that weekend, but had not finished drying. Nana was going to drop him off at school for me, but he said no, he only wanted mommy to drop him off. I tried to explain to him that mommy really did not want to run late because today was the big day that the babies would be put inside mommy's tummy. He looked at me from the bed as soon as I said this and asked "Why do they need TWO babies?" I told him "They don't NEED two babies, it is just how many we are going to try to put in  mommy's belly and hope they stick. It may be two or it may be just one, but either way it will be Tori and Mikie's baby/babies" This answer seemed to satisfy him.  I am guessing he got worried for a second that if it were two babies that one would come home with us, haha. Oh, my spoiled little only child. He is so happy with the status quo of our family dynamics. After that convo, we all loaded up in Tori and Mikie's car and drove Hayden to daycare. In the car, Hayden noticed the basket of goodies that Tori had put together for me as my transfer gift. She really hit the nail on the head with her purchases. The basket contained several pregnancy tests, some super cute workout shirts and a blingy water bottle, a dressy top, a polka dot dress, a stuffed kangaroo with a little roo in it's pouch (symbolic of a book about surrogacy), sour patch straws (my favorite kind of candy) and some gum. Tori's mom had also got hayden an alligator t-shirt from Australia. I also presented Tori with her transfer gift, which was a charm that reads "For this Child I have Prayed" along with a tiny pink elephant to represent the girl embryos.

From there, it is was off to Houston, fighting traffic and watching Mikie stress over being late. Bless his heart, he seemed so anxious you would have thought it was about to be him up on that table with people probing his privates lol.We ended up NOT being late. In fact we arrived to our exit half an hour early, so we stopped and grabbed some Chik-fil-A for breakfast. We chatted about how things would happen at the clinic, since this was my first time using their clinic and each clinic has their own protocol. For example, my previous clinic would only allow 1 person to go back with me for the transfer and it was a tiny room, with only the doctor and his assistant and the embryologist through a window. I also was not required to take a Valium, whereas HFI clinic allowed up to 3 people to go back in the room, which was much larger and had several staff members all around (seriously, like 5 other people), and their protocol involved taking a Valium. I initially wanted to opt out of the Valium, but most of the things I had heard about it weren't bad. They said it would help relax me for the procedure, as well as relax my uterine muscles. The procedure is not very painful, but I was worried about how I might act on Valium. I prefer to be consciously aware and remember everything, so that I feel more in control. I also asked Tori how much of me everyone might see. I am not very shy when it comes to clinical procedures, but with Mikie being in the room too, I wanted to be able to mentally prepare myself to be exposed to so many new people all at once. At my previous clinic, I was stripped from the waist down and it was all pretty much out there on display. I remember how cold the room was and how my body was involuntarily shaking. It doesn't take long though to put the embryos in so I wasn't freezing forever. Tori assured me I would be pretty well covered, and she was right!.... I think lol. We finished breakfast and made it to the clinic right on time. Mikie dropped us off at the door and parked in the garage while Tori and I headed upstairs to check in. I had been sipping on my first water bottle the whole ride and was beginning to feel rather full. Tori needed to use the restroom and asked if I wanted to use the restroom too. I initially said no, since I would need a full bladder for the transfer, but then she pointed out that they don't want me too uncomfortably full and that we had a whole hour to refill my bladder with bottle #2, so I went ahead and relieved myself. We sat in the waiting room, took a few selfies, and were expecting to settle in and wait, but then a nurse came and called me back. I thought to myself, holy crap, I'm not even near having a full bladder now! Better start chugging! She took me back to a tiny room first, where we went over paperwork, took my ibuprofen and Valium, and got me dressed in the patient garb, which consisted of a standard hospital gown, booties, and a hair net. Once I was all settled, Tori and Mikie came to the room to get their outfit on, which was a full on jumpsuit, booties, and gown. I was hoping to have a few more minutes in this new patient holding area to fill my bladder, but nope! Dr. Kim arrived, showed us the beautiful embryos that we were going to transfer (Graded 4AA and 5AA!), explained the procedure a little, and asked if I was ready to go. I told him I didn't feel quite full yet, and proceeded to chug the entire second bottle of water in front of all the nurses and staff as they surrounded us and waited to escort us into the room. They looked at me and said "oh, you're going to be feeling that water after the procedure, just wait, it will hit you" Oh great lol. Dr. Kim was really great though and assured me that he would work with whatever I had in my bladder. Whew!

As I walk into the room, with my backside towards the door they tell me to drop the blanket that was wrapped around my waist and hop up on the table. I obliged, but they hadn't shut the door yet since more staff members were entering and so I am pretty sure a lot of other people out in the hallway caught a glimpse of my incredibly tiny toosh. whoops! I climb up on the table and they start to get me ready by placing my legs in the stirrups, wrapping my legs in warm blankets, raising my gown to what I think was my stomach area? (I couldn't see much while lying down) and then laid more warm blankets across my arms, detached the bottom portion of the bed where Dr. Kim would sit to do the procedure, and angled the bed with my head lowered. I am not too certain, but I think a lot more of me was visible than I anticipated, based on what Tori had told me, but it would be silly of me to think I could make it through the whole procedure without being somewhat exposed. Since I couldn't tell if I was exposed or not, I didn't feel too uncomfortable, but I hope Tori and Mikie weren't uncomfortable, if so. You always wonder where to direct your gaze... kind of like Medusa, you can't stare at it, but you can't NOT stare at it lol. They put the ultrasound gel on my tummy, looked around for a little while to get an optimal view, and then it was go time. The catheters were inserted and we could see on the ultrasound monitor the white dot where the baby fisher embryos would come out of the tube and enter my uterus/their hopefully new home. I looked over at Tori and Mikie to make sure they were doing ok. They were holding hands and Tori just smiled at me. It reminded me so much of when I was in labor with my first surrobaby, Jaden, and his mom was up by my shoulder too, anxiously awaiting to meet her son. Parallel moments forever engrained into my memory. Once they were in, I was cleaned up, transferred to a rolling bed, and wheeled into a recovery room, where doctor Kim told me to lay for about 20 minutes. This is when my bladder finally started to feel full, and when the Valium seemed to kick in.

I'm not sure if we were actually back there for 20 minutes or if the Valium made it feel shorter, but time flew! Dr, Kim popped back in to check on us, told me I was clear to get up and go potty if I needed to, and wished us good luck. We discussed doing blood work at day 9 and I mentioned how my HCG levels were usually pretty high, especially since my last IVF was initially twins. He told me that asians actually tend to have higher HCG levels in general, which I thought was some pretty darn neat information. Then I told him "Thanks for knocking me up!" and we all giggled. Another nurse came by and told us we were free to leave so Mikie and Tori exited the room/curtain to let me dress in private. Standing up vertically really made me need to pee, so I ducked around the curtain and asked the first staff member where the restroom was. It was this sweet adult male nurse, and he linked arms with me and began to walk me towards the restroom. I must have looked at him with a puzzled expression, because he explained to me how he was holding on to me so I wouldn't fall since the Valium had be a little drunk. I hadn't felt loopy until he mentioned it, and then it somehow suddenly became aware to me that I was feeling a bit loopy. I came out of the bathroom and they had a wheelchair waiting for me to sit in and take me to the car. Once we left, I reminded Mikie and tori of yet another superstition to eat some McDonalds french friends after the transfer. I told Mikie to just order a small because I didn't really feel too hungry, but he went ahead and got a large and a scarfed them down! Valium munchies? Is that a thing? lol

I don't remember much of the car ride home. I don't think I fell asleep, but my memory is just a little spotty. We arrived to Tori and Mikie's house to drop Mikie off and I went inside to use the restroom again. Tori claims I was walking a bit wobbly, but I don't remember it that way lol. I thought I was doing I mighty fine job of walking straight, but I'll trust her memory over mine in this case. Tori and I loaded back up in the car and headed home to spend the day in bed, relaxing. I was slightly dreading best rest for 3 days, since my last clinic did not require any bed rest whatsoever, just 'light duty'. I hate being cooped up in bed all day but orders are orders, and I at least had Tori to keep me company the first day. I wanted to take a nap but couldn't really fall asleep so I watched 7 episodes of Orange is the New Black on Netflix until I finally started to doze off. Ryan and Hayden returned home and it woke me up. Tori told Hayden the babies had been transferred into my belly now, and so he came over to my side of the bed to lift my shirt and look and gently love on my belly. He is just too darn sweet sometimes. Other times I swear he is the spawn of Satan, but usually when it involves babies in mommy's belly, he is a total sweetheart. Friday I was on my own for bed rest. Kristina stopped by the house and brought me a breakfast taco, and then I was back to being alone in my bed. That night as I was laying in bed with Ryan watching basketball, Ryan randomly hops up and starts to throw his clothes on. "I'll be right back, don't worry about where I am going" he says. Umm ok? As his wife, I have learned to just roll with things and let Ryan be weird. He shows up 15 minutes later with a big ass ice cream cake from marble slab, It had "Get Preggo" written on it and was just the cutest, sweetest thing he's done for me in while. He can come off as a big jerk, but he is truly an awesome guy who knows how to treat his wife right. I love it.  Hayden and I each had a big slice before bed. It sort of a pregnancy tradition for me to eat copious amounts of marble slab ice cream. When I was pregnant  with Hayden, I would eat roughly 3 pints of marble slab ice cream per week, finishing each pint off in a single night. I am not sure how I did not explode into a ball of fat! Good genes, I guess. Thanks mom!

Today, Tori came into town again and we went to Kristina's house to hang out and I got to love on Hutch while they went shopping at target. Tori came back with yet another back of awesome workout clothes for me. Either I am too predictable, or she is just really good at gift giving! I was feeling pretty tired again, and decided I'd like to return to my bed, as much as I hate being alone, to rest. I am not sure if I am feeling anything pregnancy wise yet. Sometimes I think I feel spasms or twinges in my stomach, but it could just be gas pains lol. Or I think the tiredness could be a sign too, but I am a nap-taker anyways so that won't work as a tell take sign either. I had some slight nausea this morning too, but again, it could just be a side effect of the medications I am on since I was experiencing nausea 2 days prior to the transfer as well. I will continue to pay close attention to my body, and begin peeing on sticks, while we anxiously await for blood draw to get beta numbers. I won't be confirming or denying a pregnancy until Tori and Mikie announce anything, so y'all will just have to wait and see!! please continue to send all your sticky vibes and baby dust, and think positive!!

Also, we would like to say a big thank you to everyone who has offered items and services for the benefit we are planning. The date has had a few changes, to allow us more time to prepare, and so make sure it doesn't coincide with other cookoffs in the area at the same time since we want the benefit to be as successful as possible! Here is one of the items from The Chunky Funky/ Kristy Hebert. Super cute Team Baby Fisher Koozies! They are for sale for $8 and 50% of the profit will go to the Team Baby Fisher fund to help pay for all the medical expenses; past, present, and future. They are seriously so cute, but hopefully I won't be able to use them for another 9+ months unless it is to keep my root beer cold!

Also, if you would like to donate money to the GofundMe page the link is http://www.gofundme.com/teambabyfisher

Thank you all again for your outpouring of love and support!

Transfer Week is Upon Us!

Each day closer to Thursday (transfer day) builds up more and more excitement! I have been taking estrace pills, baby aspirin, prenatal vitamins, and started the Progesterone shots on Saturday. So far they haven't been too bad. I use a 22 gauge, 1 1/2 inch needle, and the oil is so thick I can feel Ryan's hands shaking when he is trying to push the medicine in. After a while my butt will get sore or bruised, but the pain and discomfort is only for a short while. So long as it results in a successful pregnancy, the shots will never bother me. I can tell my hormones are going crazy, though! I've never had the best complexion, but I feel like a teenager who just hit puberty. Ugh! Not attractive, but whatever lol. I'm already married so I don't have to worry too much about my looks, haha!

I love saying out loud to people that I am getting pregnant on Thursday because it always results in this bewildered look until I explain the situation. When you think about it though, it is pretty neat knowing exactly how old any resulting babies will be. Science has it down to where we can know exactly how many days old the embryos are, and I get to know the exact date that I became pregnant. Yay, go science!

But with the excitement comes the worry too. I worry that the transfer won't result in a successful pregnancy, and that Tori and Mikie will want to give up without having anything to show for all of their efforts. I want this so badly for them. Tori has expressed some doubt about whether the transfer will be successful on the first try either due to some comments and conversations on support group pages. I always try to stay positive and told her not to compare our journey to anyone else's. Some of those people may have been using older eggs, or transferred eggs of lower quality, etc. There is no winning combination for how to guarantee a successful transfer/pregnancy. We all just try the best we can and hope for the best results. Just out of curiosity, I decided to post a poll question on my Surrogate support group and got some very positive feedback!

We announced about a week ago that we are working on putting together a fundraising event in June. The plan is to have a cook-off, raffle drawing, and auction. I ask that if any of y'all work at a business that might be willing to contribute an item, or like to participate as a team in the cook-off to please contact us and let us know. We have already had some great responses and we truly appreciate the outpouring of love and support. Hopefully by the time of the fundraiser I will have a little baby bump starting to form and any money raised can go to past fertility treatment costs rather than future ones.

I take my final exams next week so I will be done with school and can hopefully focus on getting/being pregnant without all this extra worry piling up on me. At the same time though, I need to get a full time job, and preferably ASAP because I know how difficult it can be to get a job when you are visibly pregnant. Even though employers are not suppose to discriminate against expecting mothers, it still happens. I would love to land a great full time job that pays well, offers good hours for a mom with a young child, and is also supportive of the surrogacy journey. So if anyone knows of anyone hiring, please let me know!

I got Tori a transfer gift today. Hayden helped me pick it out, but y'all cannot see any pictures of the gift until after the transfer. I'd like to keep it a surprise. Tori also said she has a transfer gift basket for me, and I hope it is stuffed full of pee sticks. I already have two pee sticks waiting, but you can never really have enough! I plan to start peeing on day 3 post transfer, but won't be able to share any news until beta #s or confirmed heartbeat, based on the wishes of Mikie and Tori. A lot of people without these struggles tend to announce the news of a pregnancy as soon as it is discovered, blissfully unaware that something could happen early on in a pregnancy, which is why now that I am more aware of such heartaches, I advise people to wait until they are out of the woods to announce a pregnancy. Especially given Tori and Mikie's past experiences, false hope can almost kill you. We must hope for the best but plan for the worst.

So everyone, remember to send those sticky vibes and baby dust our way on Thursday.