Being a surrogate has its difficulties, but so does being the significant other to a surrogate, and for that, they deserve praise as well. So, here you go babe. Thank you for allowing and supporting me throughout my 2 journeys, and for not completely shutting me down when I speak of a third journey. You know how much I love this, even when I complain at 3am. You are constantly there to remind me of how amazing my body is and provide words of encouragement when I am sad and feel like my body is failing. I always feel beautiful when I am with you, whether I am 100lbs with 6pack abs and a tight, perky toosh, or 125 lbs with an outie belly button and popped veins the size of baseballs running all down my once beautifully toned and tanned legs. I love when you scoot close to me in bed at night and rub on my belly, not because it is our babies growing inside, but because I am your wife and you are fully committed to loving me, which currently includes the 2 extra lives I have growing inside of me. When I ache, you never hesitate to tell me to go get a massage, a mani/pedi, or schedule a Chiro appt, even though you know I'll say no because I'm a cheap ass. when it comes time for delivery, I know you will be right by my side, standing over the babies and beaming with pride, just like you did with our son, and just like you did with surro-baby Jaden. And then when I need time off from mommy duty to recover, I know you will be there to pick up the slack.
But it doesn't end there. You also support my crazy pumping life, which consists of 45 minutes to 1.5 hours of pumping every 2 hours, 'round the clock for the first 2 months and then spaces out a little bit from there, but is still so rigorous, always cutting into our sleep time and making it hard to get out of the house to ever do anything. But you let me do it anyways because you know I need it. Seeing those stacks of milk in the freezer gives me yet another amazing sense of accomplishment. So much so, that I even went 3 months without buying any ice cream because it wouldn't fit in our tiny freezer (thank goodness we have the deep freeze now!) When I pump, my body is still not fully mine again, and therefor still cannot be fully yours again either. As nice as my milk boobs look in sports bras and shirts, you know they are off limits and respect the "looky but no touchy" rule. You put up with so much from me in order to do these things; you give me my shots, put up with my mood swings, run out to get my food craving fixes at all hours of the day and night, patiently wait during the "no sex allowed" restrictions, wash millions of bottle parts to surprise me so I don't have that extra tedious chore...... The list goes on and on and there are probably countless little things that I am forgetting to mention but make such a huge impression on me. So thanks for being the amazing husband and father that you are. I'm so lucky to have you as my better half.
Now to catch up on the pregnancy!!! I am cursing myself for not updating in so long once again, but if I am telling the truth, I kind of forgot my login and password info for a while so when I did want to update, I was unable too. Yay pregnancy brain lol. Not only that, but this past month has been super busy. Hayden is getting the hang of school, we celebrated his 6th birthday, and then moved out of GG's house and into a rental. GG had a bad fall, underwent surgery on her hip, and then took a turn for the worse during her recovery. We thought she would leave us to join her husband and family in heaven, but she surprised us all and fought to get better and graciously allow us a few more years to make memories together. She can't believe how well the pregnancy is going and loves to ask about the baby girls.
We did a 3D/4D ultrasound, and even though we went fairly early on in the pregnancy, the girls still didn't cooperate very well so we couldn't get many decent picks. Tried to do a rescan, but still no luck. They were either facing away from us or covering their faces up. At one point, Zoey was all over Kinsley like a koala bear.
Tori had 3 baby showers thrown in her honor and invited me to all 3! Each one was very wonderful and had great food, which is probably part of the reason I have gained 10lbs in the past month. Guess I didn't need to stress about my weight after all!!
At the 3rd and final shower I gave Tori 2 books that help explain surrogacy to young children, so she can read to Zoey and Kinsley when they get older and help explain their birth story. I hope the girls enjoy the books.
Now that we are all done with the baby showers, Tori and Mikie are a little more prepared for the girls' arrival, but still have things on their to do list (cough, Mikie) I asked Tori if she was ready for the babies to come and she belted out a laugh and said "heck no!" Even with everything that they have had to go through to get these girls, you're never fully prepared for what lies ahead. Tori has mentioned that it is sometimes hard for her to believe she is about to be a mommy because her life has not really slowed down due to a pregnancy. She can still go out and have a few drinks with friends, not worry about what she is putting into her body, not be up all night with back aches and restless legs, but has to miss out on the joys of feeling those little kicks and flips from the inside. And then when D day arrives, BAM! 2 little babies get dropped into her lap and it goes from 0 - 100. So yeah, you could say it is nice to not have stretch marks or a blown out vagina or sliced open stomach, but it can also be a total mind fuck.
Halloween has also come and gone since my last blog post. This year I dressed up as a stork, because is there really anything more appropriate to go as? I think not! My costume was home made and I received tons of compliments on it. I cannot wait to see what the girls go as for their first Halloween. Tori and I have talked about some costume ideas so I will be interested to see how things turn out.
For my birthday back in October, my husband got my a new beagle puppy, which my son named JJ. He is so cute, full of energy, and at times a little terror. Roper has warmed up to him and they play well together. My beagle babies are like children to me, I love them so much, especially when JJ kiss my belly or naps on it.
Our doctors apts seem to be going well. We no longer see the high risk doctors because the baby girls are going fantastic on their growth and weight. We have registered at the hospital with our pre-birth order papers, and even scheduled our C-section date, which is current,y set at Jan 5th...... If I make it that far lol. January seems almost impossible. I'm putting my money on early-mid December. I took my 1 hour glucose tolerance test and failed, so I had to go back and take the 3 hour test, which was absolutely miserable, but Tori sat there right beside me the whole time so at least I had company. You know what they say about misery and company lol. The babies were doing so good and being head down for me, but trouble maker Kinsley recently flipped and is now breech again. I am hoping she will flip once more and stay head down so I can attempt a vaginal delivery, but either was it will be in the OR and a C-section is just like a grey little rain cloud hovering over my head. So if everyone could send positive thoughts, vibes, and prayers that I get to deliver them the old fashioned way, that would be great!! But either way is ok as long as the babies make it out safely. We now start our 2 week appointments, which really makes it seem all so near. I also go to the chiro every 2 weeks for an adjustment and she massages my ligaments in my hips to help give the babies room. Haha, nice try, right?! But I do feel so much better after my appointments. Of course by the middle of week 2 I am dying and counting down the minutes till my appointment again.
For Tori's Bday, I booked us a couples massage. This silly woman showed up hung over from her birthday dinner the night before with some friends. The whole time I was thinking "this is backwards, I'm the pregnant one, shouldn't I be the one feeling nauseous and sick?" Lolol. I wasn't very impressed with my prenatal massage, it felt too soft and weak for me, I like deep tissue ones where you almost cry but tell yourself "no pain, no gain", which is exactly what Tori got be has edge had bruises popping up over the next few days lol! She has the monthly membership to massage Envy so she has mentioned seeing if she can transfer one of her prepaid massaged to me so we can go get another one together. I am hoping they have a table with a whole for the belly to hang through because I am so tired of always laying on my sides.
This coming up weekend, Ryan and Hayden are going out of town to the Double T Ranch on a hunting trip. Coincidentally, it is the place where Hayden was conceived 😳. I know he will have a great time seeing all the exotic animals, helping daddy's and Bear hunt and clean their killings, and just hanging out with the boys. While they are gone, I am having my 2 best friends come over and do a belly casting kit on me. It was left over from my sister-in-law, who delivered early so we didn't have time to do it on her. I figured we better do it on me too since there is no telling when I might deliver either. I love my 2 friends, Hannah and Naomi, because they play such an important role in my emotional well being and are always there when I need them. I feel safe with Ryan being out of town knowing that I have them 2 to keep me company and stay with me just in case anything happens like spontaneous labor or w/e. Hooray for grown up sleep overs!!
That's about it for now. I don't want to make this post too too long, which I am certain it probably already is. Thank you everyone for being constant supporters of this journey. We can't wait to reach the end and see these gorgeous girls. Tori just showed me their coming home outfits and Oh My Gawd, people.... Be ready for cuteness overload.
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