I am trying my best to make sure that I make a new post roughly once a week. Sometimes throughout the journey I may space posts out if there isn't really anything interesting happening, or sometimes I may post more often if there is a lot going on. For now I am just playing it by ear. Also, I am so surprised at the amount of people who have actually read my first blog post, and by all of the loving comments and the overwhelming support. People who I have not seen or talked to in years, people who I only know through the internet, parents of old high school friends who are all taking the time to read/share my blog and come up to me and converse. It is all so cool how technology connects us.
Right now we are still in the contract phase of things. I let Tori and Mikie use my lawyer friend and fellow surrogate friend (she carried triplets in 2013 too so she is pretty much the most amazing person ever!), Simi Denson to represent them, and I am using a lawyer based on Simi's recommendation, Amy Lambert. It feels a bit weird not having Simi as my legal representative this time around because I am so use to her being MY lawyer and so anytime I talk with Tori, I catch myself still saying My lawyer instead of YOUR lawyer in reference to Simi. It is a tough habit to break! Haha. But I feel confident that Simi is going to do a fantastic job at representing them and the whole contract phase will breeze right on by. This is a great example of how carrying for a friend can be the perfect scenario. Sometimes during the contract phase there may be disagreements between surrogates and IPs, and sometimes the disagreements are too difficult to find a compromise and the match ultimately falls through. I have not yet received my first draft of the contract yet, but it should be any day now that I hear from my lawyer. I expect it to be pretty much perfect since Tori and I already discussed practically everything prior to beginning the legal phase so we are on the same page, coupled with the fact that Simi is involved in the mix and already has a good amount of knowledge of my preferences too since she has represented me once before and is a friend.
I also had to fill out a bunch of health history forms and questionnaires for the IVF clinic, Houston Fertility Institute, and for the FDA. It can be super time consuming and repetitive, but they like to be overly cautious in these matters, which makes sense. I also have to set up an appointment to have blood work done for both me and my husband, as well as a psychological evaluation. They basically want to make sure a person is mentally prepared for all that surrogacy entails. I try not to let too much of my crazy show! Haha, just kidding. For some people, the idea of carrying a baby for 9 months and then giving it away to the IPs can be a difficult thing, but I seem to handle it pretty well. I actually surprised myself by how well I handled the emotional side of things with my first surrogacy. My husband even commented on how I did not cry, not even a single tear, when my surrobaby, Jaden, was born. Nor did I cry in the weeks following the delivery. I balled like a baby when I gave birth to my son, but the birth of my surrobabe was somehow on a different emotional level. The relationship is also more so between me and the intended parents, rather than with any baby that results from a pregnancy. Of course they are cute and cuddly, but the real satisfaction of being a surrogate comes from seeing the look in the parents' eyes as they finally meet their long awaited child. We surros call it "the moment" and it is practically what every surrogate lives for. If it is a good journey with a healthy relationship between the IPs, we do not feel empty or like there is something missing or any sort of loss. I simply feel accomplished and loved in a very unique way. And I definitely expect to feel even more loved in this next journey with Tori and Mikie since we have already had extra time to establish a friendship prior to matching. From here, I expect our relationship to continue to get even closer. Like, super duper close lol. Even though I did not cry at the birth of my first surrobabe, I most likely will cry at the birth of Tori and Mikie's baby girl/girls since we are all so much more emotionally invested. It makes my heart swell just thinking about it!
This past weekend the four of us (Tori, Mikie, Ryan and I) got together for dinner. Even though I have known Tori for roughly a year now, I have never met Mikie due to his busy work schedule. Both were at my sister-in-law's wedding rehearsal dinner, but we sat at opposite ends of the dinner table and therefore did not get to formally meet. Plus, who would have guessed that we would be were we are today! I like to believe that people come into our lives for a reason. I think we discovered our reason lol. Dinner was great! Mikie is hilarious and Tori's laugh is utterly infectious. Tori calls our son her little boyfriend. He is definitely sweet on her. Since we got to the restaurant before Tori and Mikie, Hayden got to pick his seat out and told us he wanted to sit by Miss Tori. When Mikie arrived and sat on the other side of Tori, Hayden was slightly jealous and territorial of her. He's never met Mikie before either (obviously) so the idea of having to share his girlfriend was completely new to him. His facial expressions were priceless. Mikie joked that if his baby came out with any dents in her forehead that he would beat Ryan up and we all busted out laughing. I can imagine how awkward it must be to think about someone in a marriage having "bedroom relations" when they are carrying your baby. Guys often already think it is weird enough to do those things when it is their baby inside their own spouses belly, but add in the fact that it is a surrogacy and it could get uncomfortable. I am just happy that they both had a great sense of humor about it all. Tori also told me that prior to dinner, she kept telling Mikie to change his shirts to something nicer, and he said something along the lines of "We may be trying to put our baby in her, but we aren't trying to actually screw 'em!" Once again, laughter ensued. I wish i had actually remembered to snap a picture of all four of us together. I promise one next time!
I am very anxious and excited to meet their RE doctor too. From the stories Tori tells me, he is very kind and also very funny. She showed him a picture of me and he asked if I was Asian, too. I, indeed, am a quarter Vietnamese. He said he could tell by my eyes, but that they were not as squinty as his! A person who can laugh at themselves is definitely a person I need in my life.
So, to touch on the title of this post, we are hurrying up with all of the required steps, such as legal and clinical work, and then we wait for my monthly cycle to appear, which fortunately won't be too long from now. Once I start my period, I will go in for screening, get my lining checked, and hopefully be sent home with meds and a calendar. I am not the doctor, so I can't be too sure on a time frame, but we are hoping for transfer around the middle to end of April. I was in the Dollar Store yesterday and saw some pregnancy tests on display in the checkout aisle and snapped a pic of them and sent it via text to Tori saying how hard it was to resist the urge to buy all of the tests in preparation for May. I am a Pee-On-A-Stick-oholic! I will likely start taking pregnancy tests on the third day after our transfer and continue to pee up until we have our beta blood drawl. Time is going by so slow it seems. I am ready to be pregnant already with baby Fisher! Until then, I just continue to go about my days; school, work, gym, repeat. It may seem odd that I am working out so often and getting in such good shape when I potentially will be pregnant in a few short months and get "big", but a healthy pregnancy starts before the actual pregnancy, and I hope to be able to continue to lightly workout throughout a pregnancy as well to help make for an easy delivery. Regardless of whether it is a singleton or twins, I hope to have a vaginal delivery. C-sections scare me, although if medically necessary I would not hesitate to have one, because at the end of the day, all that will matter is the safe arrival of their baby girl/girls.
Must. Resist. Urge. To. Buy. All. The. Pregnancy. Tests!
Not Surrogate related, but I just have to brag on my son. A little over a week ago, after I had left for work and before Ryan had made it home from work, our grandmother (known as GG to Hayden) had a fall in the kitchen and busted her face and cut open her hand. Hayden was home alone with her for about 10 -15 minutes until Ryan showed up, and responded so bravely and calmly. He had heard the commotion and came out of his bedroom to find GG on the floor and bleeding profusely. She is on blood thinners, so you can imagine the scene! He immediately came to GG's aide, getting paper towels to apply to the wound and asking her if he should run to the neighbor's house next door (a friend whom mommy often gets help from if GG falls) and get her to come over and help. GG was not comfortable with him leaving the house alone, so he then brought her the phone to call for help. She asked him for the phone book too (don't ask me why she didn't just call 911, she "didn't want to make a big fuss" even though she clearly needed medical attention) but Hayden doesn't exactly know what a phone book is, so he brought her a bible! She said "No, Hayden, the book next to GG's chair" so he goes back and brings her a second, smaller bible. Luckily it wasn't too long before Ryan arrived home and they called 911 and the Fire Department and ambulance arrived within minutes. The Fire Department was particularly proud of Hayden for remaining calm during the crisis and providing as much help to GG as he could. They decided to award him a medal and certificate as an Honorary Junior Fire Fighter and let us tour the station and fire truck, as well as providing us with a hot dog dinner. It was super sweet and Hayden was so excited. He asked to sleep with his medal on tonight. I had to tell him no, since it may be a choking hazard, so he now has it on his bedside table and also asked for permission to bring it to daycare tomorrow to show all of his friends and teachers. And so that is my Proud Mommy Moment of the week!
Also not surrogacy related, but my sweet little nephew is one week old now, and I am dying from his cuteness. I still can't believe he is here and not still in his mommy's tummy! He was smiling for the picture with me, so he obviously already loves his Aunt Jade!
That is pretty much all that I have to update on for now! Pretty soon the real fun starts: injections with huge needles and thick oil based medicines, fluctuating hormones, and transfer day! Wish us luck! We need all that we can get!
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