I swear, I get more and more excited with each new blog post.
So everything is moving right along. After my initial ultrasound/screening appointment, I had to return for a second ultrasound on Friday, (4/10). This ultrasound was a slightly different ultrasound than the first. It is known as a SIS, which stands for Saline-Infused Sonography, also known as a sonohysterogram. Basically it is an ultrasound in which sterile water is pushed into my uterine cavity and allows the doctor to get a better look at my lining. I had one done with my first surrogacy so the procedure was vaguely familiar, but that was also roughly three years ago so I was a bit fuzzy on the details. The receptionist, nurse, and doctor all warned me that there would be cramping and slight pain, and boy were they right. As soon as the nurse pushed those first few ounces of fluid into my uterine cavity, I immediately felt crampy, sweaty, and like I could throat punch everyone in the room. Of course I would never actually do that, but when you are in pain, those ideas do flash across your mind. I tried my best to mask my discomfort and put on a strong face. I briefly wished I had Tori or Ryan there to hold my hand through it, but I knew I needed to be tough and that the pain was only temporary. Tori really wanted to be there too, but her work was very crazy busy that day so she sadly had to miss it. Being a surrogate, I try to be strong throughout everything. I signed up for this, so I can get through it. Yes, things are going to hurt and get super uncomfortable, but I push through it because I know that if a pregnancy is achieved, it will have all been worth it. Blood draws are no big deal. Injections into my butt every night with a 1 and a half inch needle filled with thick progesterone in oil are no big deal. These things are all minor in my mind because they are necessary to becoming pregnant, and so I will do them as many times as I need because that is my duty! I'm not saying it is easy, but I can, I have, and I will do it, because this is what I love. After the doctor got his look at my lining, he told me everything looked good. I asked Dr. Kim "So when you say good, do you mean good as in alright, or good as in great?" I know there probably isn't much of a difference, but it puts my mind at ease to know the difference lol. He laughed and told me "Great" so I hoped off the table, got dressed, and immediately sent Tori a text to let her know. I also sent her a few candid photos of the appointment, which included a picture of Dr. Kim peering over the sheet while my legs were up on the stirrups and a big shiny light on my lady bits. Yes, I am one of those people. I have no shame and wanted to make sure Tori felt like she didn't miss anything. When I asked Dr. Kim to smile for a pic, he looked at me with a puzzled expression and was like "uhhhh....now? you want a pic now?" I told him "sure, why not!?" like, doesn't everyone take pics of their doctor with their crotch in his face? haha ok maybe I am weird but thats ok. I then told him to say cheese, to which he awkwardly obliged. It was hilarious. I really love Tori and Mikie's Clinic and doctor and am so grateful they have such a warm relationship with all of us.It makes the journey slightly less difficult knowing that everyone cares as much as you do about the success.You have to take these small, funny moments as often as you can.
SIS Selfies
Not surrogacy related, but I went back to my orthopedic doctor on Wednesday and cut placed in a short arm cast! So I know have use of my elbow. I should get the cast off completely next Wednesday. I was so pumped to be freed from that awful long arm cast that I have been putting in some great workouts lately. Of course all I can really work on are my legs, back, and abs, but I'll take it! Working out makes me feel so great, both physically and mentally.
The following Friday (4/17) was a busy day. I had to very quickly pop in to the HFI clinic for the baseline ultrasound and blood work. Everything looked great once again. My lining was thin and my ovaries where quite. After the ultrasound, I drove to Memorial City to meet Tori, Mikie, and Ryan for our psych evaluation with Leslee Murphy. I used Leslee for my previous psych evaluations and I just love her. She is so friendly and nice. Tori and Mikie were a bit nervous, so I tried to calm their fears by assuring them that there are no wrong answers and that Leslee's role is just to play devil's advocate and bring up questions to make you think about how you might handle possible situations and that we have discussed important issues to make sure we are all on the same page to prevent possible conflict down the road. Tori and Mikie went first, then Ryan and I, then we all 4 went in together. Leslee said several times how she was so impressed with our relationship and that she hopes we continue to be open and honest throughout the whole journey. If I am being honest, it was almost like an ego boost, hearing her compliment us. I mean, I already knew that Tori and Mikie are great and that this journey is going to be more on the level of friendship, but hearing it from someone else was pretty awesome.We discussed things like what I would be called by any resulting child/ren. I am most comfortable being called Auntie Jade or just Jade. I may sometimes refer to myself as the surromom or tummy mummy, but it is not because I feel like the mom at all. It is just the only words really to simply describe our unique situation. I am a mom, but only to my son Hayden. I am proud of my surrogate babe, Jaden, but do not feel so some attachments as I do to my own child or my nephews, etc. It is a totally different mindset, and one that I am at peace with.
Mikie, Tori, Myself, and Ryan at the HFI clinic. Finally a group pic of the 4 of us!
After our psych evaluation, we all went to lunch at Lupe Tortillas. It was a great way to unwind from the stress of the morning and to loosen our belt and be ourselves. Even though we have known each other for a while, I really felt the friendship deepening. We weren't trying so hard to impress one another anymore, it was just coming naturally and I think we all breathed a sigh of relief for it. After lunch, we all headed back to the clinic to sign the last bit of waivers and I received my calendar and was cleared to start meds on Monday. Our transfer date was initally set for May 14th, but with some slight persistence and bugging on my part, we were able to knock everything out and get started on meds sooner, moving our transfer date up to Thursday, May 7th! Sounds like a perfect day to get pregnant to me!
This past Sunday marked the beginning of National Infertility Awareness Week. Tori invited me to walk with her at the Resolve Walk of Hope fundraiser. It was a perfect day and we had such a great time at the event. We signed up to walk with HFI and got shirts, which happen to be green, so they will be perfect lucky green shirts for us to wear to the transfer. Tori brought along her niece, Audrina, and she is such a cutie pie. It was so apparent by the way she is around her niece that Tori will be an excellent mother, without a doubt. At the event I also ran into my previous egg donation coordinator and had a nice quick chat. My previous agency workers were also at the event, but I didn't bump into them, which was kind of a bummer because I would have loved to have introduced them to Tori. They are so very supportive of this upcoming journey and check in on me regularly. I love how everyone in the industry has such big hearts. It is great to build these relationships with people, and I am so thankful for having met such amazing people through egg donation and surrogacy.
Tori and I at the Resolve Walk of Hope
Speaking of amazing friends and supporters, in an effort to help cut down costs and save Tori and Mikie a little money, I reached out to my fellow surrogate friends via facebook and had a few great ladies offer their unused meds for me to use. (Tori also gave me her leftover meds as well) These ladies are so great and I am so lucky to have them for advise and things like this. I love my support groups more than anything! The ladies are truly awesome.I just HAVE to brag about them.
I started estrace pills on Monday and within 24 hours I felt as though my ovaries had turned into water balloons, about to burst. luckily this only lasted about a day, and things appear to have returned to normal. I have had a few headaches throughout the week as well, but I am unsure if it is related to the medicine or just from normal, everyday things, such as school. Fortunately I graduate in May so I won't have to sit through any lecures for much longer. Ryan wants me to get a full time job then also, which I am excited about, but I am also worried about finding a job while possibly pregnant. I know some employers frown upon hiring a pregnant lady, even though legally they can't discriminate. I just hope I find great job, that pays well, adn can accept and appreciate the fact that I am also a surrogate who may very well become pregnant and therefore require days off for appointments or maternity leave. I hope that isn't too much to ask for. I guess I will find out soon! If not, I am perfectly happy with my only 'job' being to grow a baby and be a stay at home mom to Hayden, although I am sure Ryan might feel differently about that lol. He is ready for me to contribute financially on a full time basis, and I can't really blame him. He was been an incredibly supportive husband and father for the past 5 years while I attended school, completed a surrogacy journey, and then pumped for 14 months. He knows it makes me happy, so it makes him happy. How did I get so lucky!
With the help of my sister-in-law and Tori's close friend Kristina Boyd, I set up a GoFundMe account to raise money for Tori and Mikie. Our goal is $10,000, and while this may seem like a lofty number, it is only a fraction of the expenses related to infertility treatments. The number one barrier to infertility treatments is cost. Many insurances have exclusions specifically for the treatment of infertility issues, meaning everything done has to be paid for completely by the patients. These costs add up very quickly, so I ask you all to please find it in your hearts to make a donation, big or small. I would really love to lessen the financial burden for Tori and Mike. "No one has ever become poor by giving" -Anne Frank. I am a big believer in karma and am so very amazed at the generosity of several people. An anonymous donor tonight gifted $500!!! My only words are WOW. just, wow!! Big Big hugs to that person. They have a heart of gold. But even though $500 for most people is not possible, we are just as appreciate for $5. You would be surprised how quickly those small donations can add up!! And we are determined to not stop until we reach our goal. If you would like to make a donation, here is the link! http://www.gofundme.com/teambabyfisher
Thank you again to all of our supporters and friends. We cannot wait till May 7th!!
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